PDA Indicators Checklist
This month's downloadable resource is here...
Howdy,
So this month, I’m sharing my PDA Indicators Reflection Checklist… one of the most downloaded resources I’ve created, and one that is now being used by families, Educational Psychologists, and local authorities including East Sussex County Council.
This is not a diagnostic tool.
It is not a checklist to label a child.
It is a structured reflection framework designed to help you notice patterns, build understanding, and consider whether a demand-avoidant profile may be worth exploring further.
Why this tool matters for PDA
Children with a PDA profile are often driven by an anxiety-based need to feel safe, in control, and not overwhelmed by demands.
Research and clinical observations increasingly suggest that what looks like defiance or refusal is more accurately understood as a nervous system response to perceived threat.
When demands feel too high, too unpredictable, or too externally controlled, we may see:
extreme avoidance of everyday demands
rapid mood changes
social strategies to resist demands (distraction, negotiation, humour)
shutdown, withdrawal, or explosive responses
a strong need for autonomy and control
Without this understanding, support approaches can unintentionally increase anxiety.
Rewards, consequences, or increased structure may escalate rather than help.
This checklist encourages a different starting point:
Curiosity before judgement.
Patterns before assumptions.
What’s included in this month’s download?
The PDA Indicators Reflection Checklist is designed to be simple, clear, and accessible.
It includes:
• A comprehensive list of commonly observed PDA indicators
• Space to reflect on and record frequency, context, and patterns
• Prompts to consider anxiety and underlying drivers
• A structured format that can support discussions with professionals
• A printable, easy-to-use layout for home or school
It can be used as a starting point for conversations, referrals, or simply for your own understanding.
Who is this for?
This resource is particularly helpful for:
Parents who feel that traditional parenting approaches are not working
Families exploring whether PDA may be relevant for their child
SENCOs and teaching staff noticing demand-related distress in school
Educational Psychologists and professionals gathering observational insight
Multi-agency teams working towards a shared understanding of a child’s needs
It is especially useful in early stages, where something doesn’t quite fit, but you’re not yet sure why.
How to use it
I recommend using this checklist during a calm period, rather than in the middle of a difficult moment.
It works best when you:
Reflect across time, rather than focusing on one incident
Consider context, including environment, demands, and relationships
Use it as a discussion tool with other adults involved in the child’s life
Bring it to meetings or assessments to support clear communication
Return to it over time as your understanding develops
For many families, this becomes the first step in shifting from “What is going wrong?” to “What is this child experiencing?”
How to access it
This resource is available in two ways.
The first is through paid subscription. If you are already a paid member, thank you. You will find the download link at the bottom of this post.
The second is to purchase it directly through the website:
👉 https://www.sendinmama.com/pdaindicatorschecklist
If you are not yet subscribed, joining gives you:
Monthly themed children’s book lists
Downloadable tools and reflection frameworks
Research-informed, neurodiversity-affirming articles
Practical strategies grounded in lived experience
A growing community of families and professionals who value thoughtful, realistic support
This particular resource is also included within the PDA Professionals Bundle, and is already being used in practice by local authorities and Educational Psychologists, which still feels a little surreal to say.
A final note
PDA can be difficult to spot, not because it is rare, but because it is often misunderstood.
When we view children through a lens of behaviour alone, we miss the anxiety, the autonomy needs, and the nervous system responses underneath.
But when we begin to recognise patterns, everything starts to make more sense.
This checklist will not give you all the answers.
But it may help you start asking the right questions.
And that can change everything.
With love,
SENDinMama
For further evidence-informed resources, visit:
www.sendinmama.com/resourceshub
Download Below!
🔒 Download the PDA Indicators Reflection Checklist (Paid Subscribers Only)
